Interrupting the Divorce story is important because a focus on the past and a recitation of wrongs only serves to ramp up the emotional brain and causes the you to go into a downward spiral from which it is hard to climb back up.
When you are immersed in your divorce story, you are working from the limbic (emotional) brain. Going deeper and staying longer in the story only leads to more overwhelm and to descending deeper into their inability to take action.
What Is Your Biggest Motivator
Of all the different concerns you have that continues to stay in the front of your mind. Checking in with yourself on which one really gets your energy going. What is it that you most want as an outcome, or what are you most afraid of? Our brain is energized by “no not that” or “yes, this is what I really want” or “more of that.”
Listen for which area of concern is motivating you to take action because it is most URGENT or most IMPORTANT. That urgent or important concern will keep moving you forward and is a foundation for you moving forward.
Prioritizing and Focus
When you write out 3 – 5 areas of concern, identify all the threads, then identify which should be the first priority based on your needs and concerns. Remember your “Why” and your “Best Self” to help prioritize.
Smaller Steps – Break it down into smaller steps
Look for ways to take the concern at hand and break it down into its component parts, into the obstacles they might encounter, and into the feelings that will be present when you are successful. Once the whole picture is broken down into smaller pieces, you can now look at the situation differently, dissect the situation and the challenges you face, and identify which one to focus on. You will diverge from this path many times, and it is your job to keep coming back to this topic to be true to yourself.
©Certified Divorce Coach Program-Divorce Coaching Inc.