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Lesson 5: The Phases in the Divorce Process

Regardless of which phase of the divorce you are in, you are facing three challenging realities:

Multiple areas of change: relationships: family, friends, in-laws, grandparents, children, relationships as a couple, community engagement; housing; healthcare; finances; education; childcare; career-business; health and wellbeing; identity, etc.

Intensity of Emotions: denial, resistance, anger, numbness, isolation, aloneness, shame, getting even, getting out, triggers of emotions, etc. This intensity of emotions brings out the reptilian brain which, in survival mode, cannot think clearly except as relates to its own survival. This is not a good frame of mind to be in to make the decisions in divorce which have far-reaching impact on their individuals and family lives.

A legal process: with its own language and protocols, rules and procedures. It only seeks legal remedy and not emotional justice. The legal process itself is an adversarial one and not a process that encourages mutual respect for co-parenting or settlement.

The Phases in the Divorce Process

1. Pre-Separation/Divorce

2. During the Divorce Process – Restructuring the Family

3. Post-Divorce – Recovery – Rebuilding

In each of these phases, there is also more than the legal divorce. There are really six divorces for an individual’s going through divorce as we discussed in our previous lesson.

©Certified Divorce Coach Program-Divorce Coaching Inc.

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